So I attended one of my first bridal showers as a friend of the bride. It was all very adult, and in a fit of major Clothing Stress I chose an outfit that made me look like an anchor woman. I suppose I take dressing for adulthood a bit too seriously. Anyway, my team won the Make a Veil Out of Toiletpaper contest (a shower standby, I am told), and I was the *bride*--a moment captured on every digital video apparatus in the room. The Bride-to-Be, Christine and myself were the oldest non-married women in the place (small town, where women under the age of 25 are all married and working on their second or third child), so I felt kind of over-the-hill and also extremely Sex and the City at the same time. It's always nice to be the real human representation of television characters to small-towners. But, all in all, it was a very entertaining afternoon and the bride got both a crockpot AND a sno-cone machine.
Since I have apparently reached the age where my friends are getting married, the pressure for me to do the same is slowly mounting. Not because anyone really cares about my personal well-being, but because marriage becomes like a special club and the couples always want their single friends to be couple too so they don't feel so alone in their couplehood. Crazy. And so, bride-to-be asked me later "Would you ever consider dating someone, you know, normal? Like, not an artist or an intellectual?" My reply was: "What? And give up the possibility of finding another man who was chased out of his last state-of-residence by a vampire?" (for more, please refer to the February 14 entry). But in all seriousness the question kind of stumped me because 1) With the exception of psycho-vampire-fearing-lawyer, I don’t really consider my other boyfriends to be abnormal and 2) I don’t feel I seek out “artists and intellectuals” and 3) what is normal? And 4) “Normal” to me is God-Fearing, Job-Holding Vanilla Ice Cream-Flavored Man/Boys who always wear khakis, never raise their voice and are really into casual sports like tennis and squash, and would take me out to dinner and the ballet and never complain. Which, is way too Stepford Wives for me. Don’t get me wrong, I like all of that, it’s nice, but it’s not me. I think what she really meant by “normal” was “Mature/committed relationship, with a good lease and Building Toward the Future,” but whatever. It’s nice for the people that want it, and an enigma for those who don’t.
What I think is funny is that when some people get married, they suddenly need to be reassured nearly every single day that they are doing the Right Thing. And, so we Singles become a bizarre threat and desire all at once. For once, being Alone is desirable. Amazing. Also funny, because other people seem to think I enjoy being Single, or have somehow chosen this path for myself—like going to medical school or something. Whatever, from the looks of what most of my friends have gone through over the last 5 years, long-term, break-ups, engagements, etc. being single is much better than hanging on to someone just to avoid the Almighty Chasm of Alone. And plus, I may have not had One Single Solitary Boyfriend over the last few years, but I’ve certainly had some very significant mini-relationships that were much better than whatever “normal” is. And, if there’s one thing we Single Girls with a penchant for dating zany and intelligent characters can do, it's win Toilet Paper Veil Contests and look damn fine doing it.
Art, Jobs, Babies! - 2005-03-07
Wedding in Exile - 2005-02-26
Oscars! Movies! Glammer! - 2005-02-24
Monday Blues - 2005-02-14
oscar shmoscar - 2005-02-10
