My mother sent me an e-mail last week: “Better start telling people you’re Canadian.” I laughed it off, but in retrospect she kind of has a point. In order to avoid argument over current events, it seems to be the only way to go. I had it out with a very annoying British guy in my class in the middle of a panini shop tonight and discovered some very interesting things about myself:
1. I refuse to accept snide remarks about America from anyone—especially a fluffy-haired British guy given to wearing an annoying red parka-- who has visited Anaheim and says he has been to L.A.
2. When living abroad I feel hyper-American as if accidentally taking a vaccine of patriotism.
3. I am capable of defending “fat Americans” when abroad.
4. When fielding criticism of W (does it ever stop?) I can’t believe a) that I am doing so and b) that I, vote-for-Nader-lefty have to.
5. Being American right now feels like being a member of a dysfunctional family capable of causing a scene in public, that you are slightly embarrassed for being a member of, yet cannot allow outsiders to make fun of. Even if they occasionally have a point.
6. I am sick of stereotypes of Americans.
7. I am tired of having to avoid “talking about the war”
8. I think I’m homesick
9. Everyone is “talking about the war” but has the same opinion.
10. I would give anything to watch CNN right now. Or even just catch a minute of Peter Jennings. Or Dan Rather. Some voice of the dire straits of American current events.
It never occurred to me that I would be “living abroad” while a war broke out. It never occurred to me that I would spend so much time defending and explaining being American. I never thought I would sound like The Greatest Generation when doing so. Watching the news (if that’s what you can call Sky News) is difficult. I miss the variety of opinions and subtleties of political leanings that occur in the States. I’m tired of having to explain myself whilst remaining somehow apologetic for what’s happening, even when I’m not. I’m tired of feeling like being American right now is like being the awkward guest at the party that someone accidentally invited.
I want my gossip! - 2005-08-17
Goodbye, BGT! - 2005-08-08
hell hath no fury like a awriting workshop - 2005-08-01
My Love Don't Cost a Thing - 2005-07-14
Kiss My Grits! - 2005-07-06
