CAUTION: War-Related Entry
So there I was, attempting to have a nice taxi ride home after a nice Saturday night, and I get a taxi driver who thinks he is a political pundit. What really sucks about TDWTHIPPs is that they lie in wait. All night, they wait to get an American in their cab. I could tell by the excited glint in his eye as soon as he heard my accent.
This is what I wanted to do for the 20 minute ride: Eat my popcorn and savor my slightly buzzed feeling.
This is what I did: Had a “discussion” about the war and America’s involvement.
My flatmate Agni, a wise German, politely declined to engage in conversation. However she was not baited with the statement, “So, going to visit your president in Belfast this week?” As you may—or may not—know, Bush and Blair are having their next “conference” in Belfast. God knows why. I suppose some sort of olive branch for using Shannon Airport—not that it should matter since Shannon is in the Republic of Ireland, not Northern Ireland. Anywhoo, how am I to respond to that? How? So, I replied, “No, not planning on it, but I do wonder why they chose Belfast?” Then TDWTHIPP goes off about Blair, and how had Blair “stood beside the rest of the EU, and not tried to be greedy and invade a country like the Americans wanted to” none of this would be going on. I paraphrase, but if you just insert “imperialist,” “Americans,” “greed,” “against the rest of the world,” then you get the gist. So, I try to be fairly diplomatic, and say that, while I agree that the EU nations have their own opinion, etc. etc. what of the humanitarian cost either—1) The fact that Iraqis have been impoverished from sanctions for the last 10+ years and no one seemed too concerned, or 2) From the military campaign? Why does everyone seem to be ready to point out the horrors of war, casualties, etc., but not prepared to help with either aid or refuge? My point, NOT being Europe is entitled to do something, but what exactly is the solution to the situation at hand? Does complaining and pointing out how awful and world-dominating the US and British are? No. In fact, it is tiresome and counterproductive to any kind of worthwhile debate. But, for people with no audience, such as TDWTHIPP, its all about picking fights.
So, TDWTHIPP goes on about how Blair let down Europe, at which point my wise German flatmate states, “Many countries in the EU did state their opinion and stand by it.” TDWTHIPP flies right over this point and goes on about other countries imposing their might on smaller countries (translation: America bad, bad, bad again.) So, I try to take another approach as I realize 1) I am not going to eat my popcorn in peace and 2) I’m not just going to sit there and take it like some sort of non-committal expat who will agree just for the sake of it. So, I make the point that the city I am from has the largest community of people of Middle-Eastern descent in the U.S. And, that there are many, many Iraqis who fled Iraq after the Persian Gulf and hate Saddam, and that, at the end of the day, they are Americans—an assimilation, which, no EU country I know of has been able to achieve. My point being: asylum. His response? “Well, sure. Obviously they are used to work in the service industry for low wages.” My response: “Actually, all the Iraqis I know are highly educated professionals who are not being used by the American system to fill any low-wage ranks.” Unlike what may occur in, oh, IRELAND where people still stop on the street and stare at any black person that passes by. TDWTHIPP still does not get my point, and makes a few more jabs at Bush, and then throws this doozy at me: “From the way you talk, it doesn’t sound like you’ve ever been to the South Bronx. When you go there, you don’t blend in, you find your own!” This is when I realize that TDWTHIPP saw “Gangs of New York” one too many times, and that I am almost home.
Why me? Why? As Agni pointed out, though she thought I handled it surprisingly well since he was obviously looking for a fight—I didn’t need to respond—but dammit, do I walk into an Irish pub and say, “Hey, how about the Troubles? Got that figured out yet?” No. Do I bait innocent Irish citizens with questions like, “So, what’s up with the 600% unemployment rate in your country and the 16-year-old with babies?” Or, “Still discriminating against ‘Travellers’?” No, I don’t say these things (though I may think them) because as everyone in the world seems to be preaching right now, attacking someone else’s culture is not the answer. For some reason, I am not supposed to take the term “American” said snidely and with all stereotypes piled on to it personally. I am supposed to think of it as some big distant Disney World where people do as they please and plot to poop on the rest of the world. Because how in the world could anyone in America be intelligent or not 100% behind the current war? Obviously, we all link arms and plot to take over the world over big buffet meals. I’ve had it. The next TDWTHIPP or Non-American Looking for An American to Provoke is going to get this response from me: “Well, I don’t know about the war, but the only reason I’m in Europe is to try and take it over bit by bit, so I thought I’d start here, on this island.”
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