I love gossip. I know it's evil and can create emotional trauma, but if I'm bored at work and INSERTCELEBRITYNAME gets to live an exciting office-free existence, why shouldn't I get a little evil-spirited glee from when they fall on their face?
That said, I spent a little too much time reading about David Beckham's supposed affair on the appropriately named News of the World. They had the text messages--how can a girl resist?! The best part was I have no idea what the heck they were talking about. I mean, I'm no prude, and I thought myself pretty up on sexual euphimisms--even of the Euro-variety, but what the hell is going on between these two? An example:
DB: I am so **** to see your ***** like we did last week with the ***.
VR: I miss you too! Is ***** excited? I loved the way you *** me on and *****.
DB: I am so **** and remember the *******.
Honestly, that's really not far off from what was being said. It's a lot like Mad Libs for adults. I truly spent a few minutes trying to fit the correct words in the spots. Each one seems to be either one letter shy or one letter over a correct *nasty* word. which is why I think the whole thing is made up.
It nearly tops the infamous Prince Charles-Camilla love tapes when he proclaimed: "I wish I were a tampon so I could be inside of you forever." I could not make something so ludicrous and disgusting up. That is what the best education and royal lineage gets you. I mean, come on, man! What happened to the land of poetry and metaphor? Not to mention class.
Shoot, now I realize that by comparing the Posh-Becks scandal to the Charles-Diana-Camilla scandal I have fulfilled the prophecy that Posh is the new Diana. Hey, I don't agree with it, I just heard it on Sky News.
I have to say, with everything else I found lacking on the magazine rack last year ($10 for the New Yorker on the Dublin newsstand)--the gossip from the British tabloids was top notch. I think I speak for all of us cube farmers when I say keep the gossip coming!
I want my gossip! - 2005-08-17
Goodbye, BGT! - 2005-08-08
hell hath no fury like a awriting workshop - 2005-08-01
My Love Don't Cost a Thing - 2005-07-14
Kiss My Grits! - 2005-07-06
