First hot news: Remember way back in May when the jackhole of an editor at the Detroit Metro Times sent me a nastygram in response to my article query? Well, Mr. Fancypants got his arse FIRED! That's right--you don't cross Shanono and not feel some pain!
And now, onto other news that has got me smoking. . .
Sometimes, life is annoying. Sometimes, life is ridiculous. And, sometimes, life is just both:
So sayeth Defamer: "Sofia Coppola, America's Favorite Daddy's Girl, is set to write and direct Marie-Antoinette for Columbia Pictures, and she's keeping the project in the family. Cousin Jason Schwartzman will star as Louis XVI, and Kirsten Dunst, a curiously unrelated breaker of dreamy-eyed hearts, will play the title role. THR calls it a "stylized account of the enigmatic royal," which we translate as a "comedy without pie fucking," but that (happily) doesn't preclude a cake from losing its maidenhead on-screen.[THR]"
So sayeth Me: JASON SCHWARTZMAN as Louis XVI?????? Maybe she can add some kind of twist of nepotism to the script and we can just call a spade a spade. Kirsten Dunst? I am so done with New Hollywood. Done. With a capital D. I just don’t get this new generation of supposed “heartthrobs.” I mean, it has taken me YEARS to even be able to seriously watch Tobey Mcquire (or however the heck you spell it) on screen without thinking he has a closed head injury—and now this. Thankfully, most of the “American Pie” cast has disappeared into that good night, but what explains the meteoric rise of totally dorky people to play “lead” roles? Especially, when they don’t even resemble the main character? It’s like the slouchy slumpy sweater brigade has taken over the cinema. Not that there's anything wrong with that--we have all had our time as members of the slouchy slumpy sweater brigade (i.e. indie rock scene) I mean, sure, Jake Gyllenhal (again, however the heck you spell it) is a good actor, and kind of attractive, etc. But he just doesn’t exude Leading Man to me. Or Romantic Lead. Or lead anything for that matter. He’s a good actor, not an action hero. They did this huge spread on him (and Kirsten Dunst) in Vogue last month and the whole thing left me with the feeling of “Whaaaat?” Like, this is the new “It”? If they are the new “It,” then me and all of my friends were “It” five years before its time. Whatever happened to "interesting" actors? Like Adrien Brody? Every movie I see him I remember. And he's not any particular "Hollywood" ideal (though I secretly have a huge crush on him and think he is soooo interesting looking). Or--who else--Ewan McGregor. He's interesting. And fun. And not dorky shlumpy. and, as far as I know--not related to the Coppola family in any way shaper or form.
Okay, I’m almost satiated. But one last jab—was anyone else aware that several years ago Francis Ford Coppola pitched a musical version of “Gidget” to Touchstone? A friend of mine (who shall remain nameless so that the House of Mouse does not attack) has the actual script and accompanying soundtrack by (gasp!) Olivia Newton John. Needless to say, Touchstone turned it down, but not after much debate and hoo-haaing about who would have to tell the bespectacled film giant. All I have to say is, I read the script and heard the soundtrack and it was HILARIOUS! What is up with old Coppola anyway? He is totally turning into some kind of Howard Hughes-ish/George Lucas character. At the Oscar’s he looked like Sofia’s crazy uncle or something.
Okay, the Hollywood bitchfest has now come to a close.
I want my gossip! - 2005-08-17
Goodbye, BGT! - 2005-08-08
hell hath no fury like a awriting workshop - 2005-08-01
My Love Don't Cost a Thing - 2005-07-14
Kiss My Grits! - 2005-07-06
